Abby Normal: Character Connection

Don’t you just love larger-than-life characters? The ones who jump off the page and grab you? Whether you love them or hate them, you can’t be indifferent to them.

I would love to know about the characters who just won’t leave you! Most of you will probably post about how much you love (or loathe) each character, but this is a great place for the more creative ones among you to let go and have fun! Write yourself into a scene with Anne and Diana. Write a love poem in elvish for Aragorn. Draw a picture of Harry obliterating Voldemort. The possibilities are endless.

Be sure to post the book’s title and author, and be very careful not to give away spoilers while talking about how much you love your characters.

Mr. Linky will be posted here on The Introverted Reader every Thursday.

I was going to write one of my regular Character Connections this week, but Abby Normal, from Christopher Moore’s Vampire Love Story Trilogy (Series order: Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me) insisted on writing about herself. Fair warning–her language is a little *ahem* colorful.  Anyway, please welcome Abby Normal to the blog!

That’s Abigail Von Normal, Emergency Back-up Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Night, to you, bitches.  Pay attention, ‘cuz there will be a test.

‘Kayso, what can I tell you about my baneful existence?

My bff Jared, that disgusting lover of rodents (and I totally mean lover in the most revolting way, but he’s amazing at helping me choose my black eye makeup), says I’m perky at heart but I’m totally lost in a dark pit of despair. I mean, the mother unit just took away my fave pair of Skankenstein® boots! Life is not worth living.

But my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, totally makes everything brighter. That UV duster coat is the shit at vaporizing vampires.

I would never turn it on my mistress, Jody. She kicks some serious unrighteous vampire ass. She’s totally smokin’ in her leather and boots too.  I mean that in a totally non-lesbian way.

My greatest hope is that she will turn me so I can join the ranks of Nosssferatu uber-coolness. (If you don’t say it Nossssferatu, you’re not saying it right, ho.) Walking the night, rocking the boots and the leather, drinking blood; I was born for that! I might miss my Starbucks, but I’ve totally seen Jody adding blood to her coffee. Café con sangre, I guess. (See, mother unit, I have learned something in that loser-infested dungeon you call school.)

Until then though, I’m stuck as a teen going to high school, where all the other kids just suck ass. They totally don’t appreciate my coolness, so I deprive them of it as often as possible.

‘Kayso, is that all you wanted to know? It’s time to go wake the mistress.

Who did you connect with this week? Link your post on Mr. Linky, then be sure to go check out the other Character Connections!